A newborn baby is amazing and terrifying all at the same time. He seems so fragile and you are paranoid that you are going to do something to damage him in some way. Rebecca had some experience babysitting and handling very small children but I had virtually none so everything for me was a crash course, from changing diapers and bathing him to learning how to swaddle something. They are utterly and completely dependent on you in every way. The only thing you don't do is breathe and poop for them.
Our doctor said something that really stuck with me because I thought it was funny and sort of brilliant in a way... he said that the first few weeks with a new baby can be very difficult and just when you start second-guessing yourself and wondering whether you can handle it or not, your baby smiles at you. He called it "nature's self-defense mechanism" to keep parents from going nuts. It's true... after a while you are craving some feedback because all this work is going into sustaining the little guy and you selfishly want it to be a two-way street. It really does make your day. Since he was born on November 16th we were hoping he would be smiling a little by Christmas so the family would get to hang with a smiley little Eli. He obliged and it made for a really cool first Christmas with him (more on that later).
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